Parent2Parent

“Who is the Iron in Your Life?”

2012-02-02T16:29:00.002-05:00

Let’s just be honest fellow parents, we have a lot of pride when it comes to our babies. Don’t agree? Well, think about the pictures she used to draw for you when she was four years old. Would you have hung anyone else’s picture of a blue and purple…uhm... whatever that was on the fridge? How about the first time he actually hit the ball with the bat? Of coarse, these are proud moments in our lives, and they should be. Its not a bad thing.

But, very often this innocent pride in our young children transforms into something else that isn’t healthy for us or our kids. We all seem to form a blindness to our own kid’s mistakes. Instead of dealing with them we justify them. Instead of helping them, we make excuses in our minds and to others.

This is where we need to change, we need to admit that our daughter is too interested in boys or our son is just plain lazy. Sometimes we don’t know what to do about it though, so we do nothing. We ignore it and hope it changes; we hope it is just a phase and that they will grow out of it.

When we face situations with our children that we don’t know how to deal with we are NOT alone! God has given us great resource that we can tap into at anytime. Its not professional counseling or some deep spiritual truth, it is very simple. God gave us friends.

One of the greatest resources that parents have is their Church Family! Listen to them! There will always be people around you who have been doing this longer and know more about raising children than you do. The problem is that we don’t want to let anyone tell us how to raise our kids… that is sinful pride. (different from the pride we talked about earlier)

The Bible says that true friends will sharpen you, they will make you better like “iron sharpening iron” - that is the kind of friend you need and the type of friend that you need to listen to.

My thoughts today...

2011-09-27T11:53:00.000-04:00

Hey Parents, How are all of you doing today? Just thinking of you (Parents of ALCF) I hope that all is well in your lives and in your children's lives. I was just thinking about how difficult it can be at times as a parent. You can try to do all the right things and it still seem like you fall short in your effort to be loving, teaching, encouraging, disciplining, and training your kids in the way you know you should. I know that I certainly have days that I just don't feel like "Super-Dad"! But we have to remember that we are NOT perfect and we are not going to be, but we serve a GOD who is perfect and HIS perfect Spirit lives in all of us who know HIS SON, JESUS CHRIST! We must do our very best as parents but at the end of the day remember that our best isn't 100% perfection but when we do what we can do, GOD will do the rest. When we fail our children, we are teaching them that we are not perfect. But this gives us the opportunity that there is ONE who will never fail; HIS love us unfailing. There is a GOD who NEVER leaves nor forsakes, HIS name is JESUS. Pray for me as I pray for you in this journey of victories and failures as we grow closer to the ONE who is Holy and Righteous and living inside of us! I love you all. God Bless! - Elder Dave Brabham

“PEACE” The Treasure of a Godly Home

2011-09-16T12:57:00.002-04:00

While in prayer today God impressed on my Spirit this simple but greatly needed truth... What most American families need is peace. If there were ever one word that would describe what families need most across this nation it would have to be peace. Why? Well, here is my #1 reason why I know that peace is missing in many homes… DIVORCE

“Among adults who have been married, the study discovered that one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. That means that among all Americans 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split.” - BARNA GROUP

Because there is a lack of peace in the home, even among Christian families, divorce is an evil that has run its coarse of turmoil and destruction in our families. Whether or not you come from a broken family you know probably dozens of people who are experiencing life living in a home with little to no peace.

So, what can be done about this problem? How can parents restore peace into the fabric of their family culture? The only way to solve this epidemic is to restore the “Prince of Peace” who is JESUS CHRIST back to the throne of your family values! Once JESUS is in control of your family, the One who gives peace will restore and heal the need for peace in your home.

Proverbs 17:1 says, “Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting - and conflict.”

The American Culture that has invested so much time and energy into money, success, and building kingdoms of self has poisoned the American Family. There is no peace when we serve the god of “me”! That is what the wisest (and richest) man who ever walked on the earth, King Solomon, was saying by the leading of the Holy Spirit… You can have the money, material possessions, and success but if there is no peace in your home, you have nothing.

What it boils down to is this, our priorities are way out of whack! You cannot put God, the Church, family, Bible study, prayer, tithes, and obedience to GOD on the backburner and expect blessing. What some people believe to be a blessing is actually a curse! Jesus set straight our jumbling of priorities when HE said, “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

(Matthew 6:24)

In John 14:27 Jesus said, “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

The peace that we all desire and need in our homes, in our marriages, and in our kid’s lives cannot come from the world. The peace that JESUS gives is called “the peace that passes understanding” - it is a peace that is supernatural. We will still have trouble in this life, we will have situations that will try to rob of us our peace. JESUS says, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

If we truly desire peace within our own souls and in our family then JESUS is the ONLY WAY! We must learn to desire God’s direction above our own. Our plans will fail us and the Bible says they end in death. But God’s plan is for a future and a hope! God’s future for us is complete, total, and perfect peace. When we are in heaven we will see the PRINCE OF PEACE in all HIS glory!

God’s Love: Your greatest help when parenting is tough…

2011-06-03T16:01:00.000-04:00

Every parent out there has at one time or another prayed that God would infuse them with the supernatural ability to be a better parent. Honestly, have you ever wished that you could be more patient with your kids? How about more kind? I know I have! There are just times that I know that I could use some help being the parent that my kids need.

Well, here is the good news… God HAS given everyone who is a Christian exactly that. God has given us all a supernatural gift, this gift is called “love”! The problem is that we don’t understand what love is or what it is supposed to be when it is activated inside the Holy Spirit filled believer. The problem with most Christians is that we are not walking in the truth that we already know. We are searching from some new, fresh Word or Revelation when God has already given us all we need to live victorious lives. The same is true for our lives as “Christian Parents”.

The great Apostle Paul describes this supernatural gift of love in 1 Corinthians 13, lets look at Paul’s description of God’s Love activated inside a Christian…

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

You may be saying to yourself, “but I’m not patient, or kind, and I am rude, and I do feel like giving up”! That’s why this is God’s gift to all of us. Because we really, really need it! Love is the essential thing that we need in our walk with Christ and I our everyday life. Why would it be any different in our parenting? Love is the primary fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22). Jesus said that love is the most important thing to God and that everything written in the Old Testament can be fulfilled with love! (Matthew 22:37-40)

It may be time that you become a Spirit-Filled Parent”! When you let the Holy Spirit guide you in parenting you will operate in the Supernatural!

So your impatient, your always demanding your own way, you feel like losing hope with your kids. That is in the flesh. The Bible says that those who are Spiritual set their mind on the things of the Spirit… Let God transform you into the man or woman of God and the parent you were made to be. This comes from being led by the Spirit of God!

Look for the Promises

2011-05-24T13:29:00.000-04:00

I have been very blessed to sit under a great Bible teacher for the past 6 years. Our Pastor, Scott Becker, has taught very simple and practical ways to read, study, and comprehend scripture. While the Word says that “those who are not spiritually minded cannot understand spiritual truths”, those who are spiritual need to have tools to help them understand scripture. As Christians, we are commanded to grow in our knowledge of God’s Word…

2 Timothy 2:15 “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

As Christian Parents, we should look to our greatest resource (the Bible) for wisdom in this journey of trying to raise children of character in a world of compromise!

One of the greatest ways to find straight truth that we can apply to our lives is to look for “commands” and “promises”. Also, when we find these commands and promises they are something simple that we can pass down to our children. Then when we give our children instruction it isn’t just what we think is best, but it is God’s Word!

The Bible is full of these commands and promises that we can pass onto our kids and apply to our own lives. Here are just a few…

Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord,^[^a^] for this is the right thing to do. ²“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise… (This is the command)

If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth… (This is the promise)

What a great command and promise to teach to your kids! If they honor you and obey you, God promises them a long and happy life! Our children need to understand the importance of this command and promise. They also need to understand that if they do not honor and obey you then God does not promise them long life or happiness!

This is why it is so important for us to share truth with our kids. They may disagree with our opinions but if they love God they must respect HIS Word!

Psalm 1:1 Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers.

Here the promise is “joy” for those who follow the command. The KJV says that this person is “blessed”. We can teach our children that they will be blessed and have joy if they “do not follow the advice of the wicked”! The “wicked, sinners, and mockers” in this verse are people who do not know Christ. Our children should be taught to take advice only from righteous people. Our kids who have unsaved friends need to be careful to have Godly people as their closest friends!

As you study the Bible on your own look for commands and promises that speak to you and your own walk with Christ. Also, find scripture that will be good for teaching your kids!

"Parenting in the Presence of God"

2011-04-06T12:58:00.000-04:00

As Christians we all know that it is foolish to try to accomplish any task without depending completely on Christ as our source of strength. Yet many times, we seem to try to take on one of the greatest responsibilities in our lives without depending on the Lord. Raising children is not just a task to be accomplished, but a mission handed down to us by God. The Lord has given us this “blessing” (Psalm 127:3) and expects us to be faithful in how we handle our children. We cannot discipline and correct children outside the instruction of God’s Word and still expect His blessing on their young lives. At the same time, we must draw on the strength of the Lord to follow His instruction. That is why I have titled these thoughts “Parenting in the Presence of God”, because that is exactly what we must do!

Jesus said in John 15:5, "Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” Believe me when I say, “WE NEED THIS FRUIT AS PARENTS”… What fruit? Fruit in the Bible is always good. The fruit that we need is the “fruit of the Spirit” (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.) Staying “In Christ” is the only way that we can continue to have this fruit.

Do you know that you need to LOVE your kids better and more effectively but struggle in the area of showing them affectionate love? Stay in Christ! Spend more time in private devotion… James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you! The nearer to God you are, the better job you will do of loving your children!

What about the fruit of joy, peace, or even patience? The great thing about the “fruit” of the spirit is that it is all wrapped into one. In other words, the more God you have in your life, the more of ALL of these Christ-like attributes you will possess. The Fruit of the Spirit is the very nature and character of Christ living and growing in the born again believer!

It is the very Spirit of Christ living inside of us who gives us the character to hold onto our blessings and handle them in a Christ-centered fashion. This is true in every area of the Christian life. In our finances we have to trust God, obey His Word, and have godly character in how we manage our money. Our behavior and attitude in the work place; how we treat our coworkers, and how we treat our boss… its still the same principle. We obey His Word in every situation and we ask the Holy Spirit to give us the character, the desire, and the strength to carry out the details that seem difficult to us. Because nothing is difficult for the Christ in us, “With God all things are possible”!

The focus of my messages in this format is obviously Parents & Kids, but these principles need to be applied to your life and mine. Whatever we find difficult that we know is what God wants for us is the area that we need Christ’s help to walk in true and real obedience to the Lord’s leading. When we learn to truly surrender to the His Will is when the Kingdom will be advanced!

EVERY PARENT'S BATTLE

2011-03-29T11:13:00.000-04:00

As parents we live in a whirlpool of busy schedules, jobs, deadlines, baseball practice, dance recitals, church activities, birthday parties, sleepovers, and the list goes on seemingly forever. All of this can seem overwhelming, especially to single parents, and even more so when you are trying to raise your children in a Christ-like lifestyle when they (and you) are surrounded by a wicked and corrupt world.

Last night my wife and I turned on American Idol and we are confident that most of the male contestants are homosexual. We turned the channel to a “Christian” network and there was a music video that had images that were so demonic that we couldn't bare to watch. Commercials are even worse and it seems that it is nearly impossible to see a set of commercials without having to view something sexual or horrific.

Because of being surrounded by so much that is sinfully influenced we have to be on guard for our children and ourselves. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

As Christian Parents, we should be concerned and heavily involved in “guarding our (children’s) hearts” and realizing that the “course of their life” is still being determined from our vantage point.

There is a countless number of influences in our children’s lives that are at work on their hearts and minds everyday. Friends, who don’t know Christ, are telling them their opinions and world-view from their own experiences and the experiences of their parents who also are unbelievers. TV shows are telling them that it is “cool” to lie, cheat, get what they can get, and disrespect their parents. Movies that would have been rated “R” when we were kids are now rated “PG-13” even though they are geared for younger viewers. If you are not sure that this is true think about this… what age group is going to want to see the next spider-man, batman, superman, or transformers movie that hits the theaters? I will tell you this; they are younger than 13, yet all those movies are rated “PG-13” and some of them should be rated “R”!

So, being a Christian parent is a constant battle when you are in pursuit of holiness in your home. So, how do we deal with this world around us (and around our children)? We remember that we are “in the world” but we are not “of the world”, we remember that the “world hated Jesus” and HE said that “we will be hated too”. It’s ok, we are different, being like Jesus is very different! Our focus does not need to be “how do we fit in the world without our children getting hurt?” What we need to seek is the purpose that Jesus said we have in His prayer to His Father…

John 17:15-19 “I'm not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They do not belong to this world any more than I do. Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth. Just as you sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. And I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them so they can be made holy by your truth.”

What is "Parent2Parent"?

2011-02-11T13:59:00.000-05:00

The "Shema"

2011-02-10T16:56:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard of “Shema?” This is the Hebrew word for “listen”. There is a portion of the Old Testament known to the Jewish people as the “Shema”. According to some scholars this is the central part of everything that the Israelites believed. Many Jewish people still hold it to be very sacred. What does that have to do with Christianity and more specifically Christian Parents?

Let me just share with you the passage where the “Shema” is found…

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”

This is a blueprint for every true believer… 1. God is God all by Himself. We need to live lives that reflect that He is God and we are NOT. Also, we can trust Him because no problem is to big for Him. 2. Love God with all of yourself. Recognize this? Jesus repeats this when He is asked what is the greatest commandment! (Matt. 22:37-40) So the greatest commandment comes straight from one of the most sacred passages in the Old Testament. We need to love God! - It was very important in OT, in the NT, and today! 3. Obey God’s Word. We need to do more than just tell our kids to be obedient; we need to live it out in front of them. We need to follow God wholeheartedly in front of our kids by obeying God’s Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit! 4. Repeat the Word to your kids all day everyday. Your kids need to hear the Word pouring out of your mouth. Also, they need to hear you pray, speak words of encouragement to others, say kind things to your spouse, and so on. Basically, your kids need to hear wholesome things coming from your mouth and they always need to hear truth.

This model of parenting is Biblical and it is powerful! There is no way that we can be passive in our parenting. I firmly believe that if we don’t “train our children in the way they should go” then the world will train them in the way of the enemy! I believe that as Christian Parents we claim and we carry the name of Christ and we need to show our children. We need to tell our kids what the Apostle Paul told people… “So I urge you to imitate me”. - 1 Corinthians 4:16

Faith Talks… Looks for ways when you are with your children to talk to them about the Lord. When you are getting up and you ask them “did you have good-night rest?” You could change the question to “did God give you a good-night rest?” When you are driving and they are telling you about a bully at school, you can ask them how they think Jesus would want them to deal with the bully. When they get a good grade on their math test you teach them to give glory to God by stopping to pray and thank God for helping them with their test… Just some thoughts from one parent to another. God Bless!

A Spiritual Shift In The Next Generation

2010-09-08T17:57:00.000-04:00

Hello parents, I guess the theme of this blog is “Summer is over, back to real life”. This is not only true for the kids but is even more true and needed for the parents. As adults we can be creatures of routine and when our schedule is disrupted by summer, day camps, and family vacations we many times are distracted from what is most needed in or own lives and our children’s lives. There is a great need to get back in Church, get back to a consistent prayer life, get back to reading our Bibles to our children and on our own. We need to get back to putting Jesus Christ first every single day. Why in the world would we let our kids go to school without equipping them with school supplies and lunch money? If we would not do that, then how much more ridiculous would it be to send them out into a dark, wicked world without covering them in prayer and saturating their spirit with the Word! Our kids need to be read the Word daily and they need to be in Church to hear the preached Word of God.
We all want better for our children than what we had. We all have dreams for our children, that they will fly higher than we have. We hope and pray that they will be more spiritual, live more holy, live in purity, and love God better than we did. But how will this happen? Lets be honest, we all know that this will NOT happen if we just stay out of the way and let our kids just be what they will be. The Bible says that “a child left to himself disgraces his mother.” (Proverbs 29:15) No, as Christian Parents we must take an active role in our kid’s lives. By “active role” I am not talking about soccer games, but if your child is in soccer or any other activity they need your love and support in it. What I mean by “active role” is active in a Biblical and Spiritual way.
In the 1700’s the “Puritans” lives were very different and the way they raised their children was on a basis of understanding “original sin”. They understood that their children were born into sin and that discipline and love was the basis for driving sin out of them. This discipline was enforced out of love for their children, not out of anger, bitterness, or resentment towards their kids. In 2010, parenting in our American Christian culture is very different than that of the Puritans. In the days of old they didn't believe in the “terrible twos”, “psychological stages, or ADHD. All they knew was what the Bible said, “A youngsters heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.” (Proverbs 22:15) They believed in hugs, hard work, quality family time, and spankings. As a result, children grew up knowing and loving God, respecting and honoring their parents, and growing to become moral, hard working, God fearing adults. The Prophet Jeremiah said “...ask for the old Godly way and walk in it…” (Jeremiah 6:16) That is what I believe needs to happen in our kid’s lives so that there can be a “Spiritual Shift in the Next Generation”! The Bible very clearly gives instruction on how we as parents can put this “shift” into motion. I want to challenge you to very carefully read the following passage and study it out…

Psalm 78:1-8 NLT
“O my people, listen to my instructions. Open your ears to what I am saying, or I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past— stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the LORD, about his power and his mighty wonders. For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children so the next generation might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. Then they will not be like their ancestors— stubborn, rebellious, and unfaithful, refusing to give their hearts to God.”

I love you all and I hope that you are blessed, educated, and encouraged by this blog. I am simply sharing what I believe God has put into my spirit to share with you. Please call me, email me, or text me with your prayer requests and needs. I love you and want to be a blessing to your family. After you study out this passage let me know what God shows you about being a parent who teaches their children to walk in the “old Godly way!”

Guard Their Hearts

2010-03-09T23:36:00.000-05:00

Proverbs 4:23
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life”

I was reading a book recently that stated some disturbing statistics. In this book, it said that in 2006 there was an estimated 905,000 children in the U.S. that were victims of abuse or maltreatment. In the same year it said that there were 1,530 child fatalities resulting from abuse or neglect. The book also said that by the time a child graduates from elementary school they have seen 8,000 murders on television and 100,000 other forms of violence… and that is if they don’t have cable!
So, why am I sharing all this disturbing information with you? Because the Bibles says to “Keep thy heart with all diligence…” Another version says the “Guard you heart above all else…” (NLT) So the Word of God for us is that we need to be very careful to protect, guard, and keep watch over our heart. Because what enters our heart will come out. The NIV says it like this, “Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life”. So basically its “garbage in-garbage out”! So as Christians we understand that we need to protect our hearts from the corruption of the world around us. But what about as parents?
As parents we need to look at this verse and remember that our children’s hearts need to be guarded and protected at an extremely high level. I am not talking about sheltering them from everything that can be harmful and then let them grow up and find out what the world is really like on their own. No, what I am saying is shelter them and educate them on dangers of the world. Explain God’s path for their life from His Word. This is a great place to start…

Proverbs 4:23-27 NLT
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech. Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.

As Christian parents it is our ministry and our responsibility to protect our children’s hearts from the violence and corruption of their surroundings. It is also our job to teach them the Word…
We need to teach them to be careful of their words but also of their friend’s words. Ask them, “Would Jesus want to hear the words that are coming out of your friend’s mouths?” As parents we need to teach our kids to “mark out a path”, in other words, “make the determination” to follow God’s path for their life no matter what! Always stand for truth, always be true to who God made them to be, and never compromise their integrity as a child of the living God. We need to teach them to be aware that the devil is real and he doesn't want them on this path. But if they stay focused on the Lord and “keep their feet from following evil” then they will grow up to be the men and women of God that they are meant to be. Remind them that they are God’s “masterpiece” and that they were “fearfully and wonderfully made” and that God has plans of “hope and a future” for them. But with everything that I have said… “Guard your (and your children’s heart) above all else.”

Parents: Leave A Legacy

2010-02-17T13:28:00.000-05:00

This blog may seem strange to some because it may sound like it is written by someone much older than I am. But I want to simply share this thought from my heart to all of you parents… “Leave A Legacy”! You don’t begin leaving a legacy for your children and grandchildren to follow when you are older. In order to live a life that speaks of integrity, truth, dignity, and most importantly a life that is lived passionately for Jesus Christ you must start it now! Don’t wait to give God the glory He deserves in your life now.
The Apostle Paul knew he was near his death when he wrote this to his spiritual son, Timothy: “As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.” (2 Timothy 4:6-7) As parents we are leaders who are leaving an example for our children to follow, we are leaving a legacy. This can be a good legacy or a bad one. The choice is up to us what we will leave for our children to follow. But one thing is for sure, the example that we give will be followed. As much as children say they don’t want to be like their parents, it is still all they know. It is what they have been taught. It is the legacy that they have been given.
I just want my legacy to be one of truth and integrity. I want my children to grow up knowing that daddy did his best to love God and be the man God made him to be. My grandfather is a man like Paul. He has lived a life that has been “poured out” in service to Christ. He was a pastor for 40 years, he has been serving God faithfully for over 50 years, he has led thousands of people to Christ, and he is presently serving as Senior Chaplain of Orange County Jail in Orlando. He is 80 years old and serving Christ full time, not because he needs to but because that is his legacy, that is who God has made him to be.
My Spiritual Father is Pastor Scott Becker and he has left a legacy already and is still building it for his natural and spiritual children to follow. He has been more faithful to the Lord than I believe most men, even pastors, would be during and after burying his late wife, Gail. I am honored to be one of his spiritual sons and to have had the opportunity to serve under his guidance as an elder in this amazing Church.
If you haven't realized it by now, I consider myself to be extremely blessed. God has put men in my life to be fathers. They have left a legacy and it is my deepest desire as a parent to leave a legacy that will glorify God and will give my children something worth following. As a pastor the burden is even heightened because I want to leave that legacy for every child who calls Abundant Life their church.
As parents, I believe we are called to not just have some good moments with our kids but to live out a life like Paul. Our children need to see us live a life that is “poured out as an offering to God” and they need to see us “fight the good fight” and “finish the race” and when we are old and near our death my prayer is that we can look back on our lives and say “I have remained faithful!”

The Story of Us

2009-11-19T11:08:00.000-05:00

Proverbs 27:11
“Be wise, my child, and make my heart glad. Then I will be able to answer my critics.”

Whether or not it seems fair; we as parents are judged according to the behavior of our children. We are judged by those who do not know our situations or circumstances, who do not know that we are doing our best, or that our spouse has left us alone to raise our children. We face critics daily at our children’s school, in the market place, and certainly at the church. But the truth still remains, we cannot make excuses, if our children prove to be wise all of those critics will have nothing to say anymore.

We all know that it is true because we all have been on the other side of this judging circle. Perhaps behavior isn’t a problem for your children and you are still there. But even if you are not, you have probably been there. Remember before you had children? (I know its hard!)… You would go to a restaurant or a grocery store and see that overwhelmed mother with the child that reminded you of the Tasmanian Devil! He was jumping on the cart where he should be sitting, she was crawling under the table at the Olive Garden, he was screaming with an unrelenting pitch that made you want to throw something… Ok maybe its just me. I will confess that I have been there, on the judging side. But rather than judge those parents who seem hopeless, I know that I need to be moved with compassion for them and for their children. Why?

“Out of control toddlers” grow to be “out of control teenagers”. I know that I need to have compassion on those seemingly hopeless “noise-makers” because they will soon be hopeless young people and then adults who have no direction in their lives. The Bible says that children with no discipline (or direction) will bring shame to their parents. But the Bible also says…

Proverbs 23:24-25
The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure it is to have wise children. So give your parents joy! May she who gave you birth be happy.

The truth is that our children are telling our story. Just as we are reading the story of others. I want to have a story that brings God glory! What story are your children’s lives telling of you? We will be parents who are full of gladness if our children grow to be wise!

Live the Life, In Front of Your Kids!

2009-09-04T13:23:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 20:7
“The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children after them.”

As I read my Proverb of the day and I came across verse 7 it impacted me so much that I wanted to use this month’s Parent2Parent article to share what God showed me as a dad…
“The Godly walk with integrity…”
I had to ask myself about the first half of this statement. Who is Godly? Well I’m supposed to be right? And you will always hear preachers talk about the fact that God sees you when no one else does. But who is Godly? I believe it is the person who really WANTS to please the Lord. It is the person who wouldn't care who is watching them… they are going to do right because they want to make Daddy happy. To this person knowing that God is watching is a benefit, not something to be worried about.
I do have a strong desire to be a Godly man, I want to be the man God made me to be. I want to live a life being Spirit led and I want to be a doer of the Word. I think most people that would be reading this article would agree that they want that to be the testimony of their lives; to be all that God would have them to be and give Him glory in how they live their lives. But what does this have to do with our children?
“...blessed are their children after them.”
There is one thing that we must also remember about who is watching. Our kids are watching! They are watching and learning and following and being molded. Little boys just want to be like their Daddy. (I’m not telling you what I heard, I’m telling you what I know!) Little girls want to be like mommy. God showed me something that I already knew but coming through His Holy Word it became so much more powerful. My kids are watching me… your kids are watching you.
My grandma told me and Beth that when her kids were young God convicted her about her prayer life. She began to seek God because she devoted hours to prayer daily. What God spoke to her she never forgot and I never will either. God told her that although she spent hours in prayer her kids did not ever see her pray because she prayed after they went to bed.
Our children will be “blessed” because of the life we live, that is what the Word is saying here but I ask you to look deeper as a parent and I ask you this question… How blessed will your children be if you live a life of integrity, devotion to God, fervent in prayer, studying the Word, and loving others in front of them? They will be blessed and they will learn how to live the life!

God is Calling the Parents!!

2009-09-04T12:58:00.000-04:00

I am so thankful for you, the parents. Your children are a blessing to me and God has given me a huge love for them but I want you to know that He has given me a love, and in some ways a burden for you too, the parents. My heart hurts for people who struggle in parenting. That is a funny thought, isn’t it? Who doesn't struggle in parenting? So this is not to say that I don't struggle myself, because I do. Being a parent in today’s world is tough. There are hard decisions that we as parents have to make every day as we hope and pray that they are in the best interest of our kids. That is why I say that I am burdened for you who “struggle” in parenting and I want to be a blessing to you and that is one of the reasons that I believe that God has called me to be a Children’s Pastor, to be a help, an advisor, and a friend to the parents of kids that I minister to. Because as parents we carry a great responsibility; to mold the physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing of our children. Yes, God is calling us to something great, something noble, and something that will outlive our years in this life. As we pass on into eternity our children will live on, they are the Church of tomorrow. What we leave with them, what we model for them, and what legacy we leave for them to follow is absolutely vital to the “next generation” body of Christ”.
God has called you to be parents. How do I know this? Because you are one. God does not make mistakes and he works our mistakes out to be used for His glory! I was a “mistake” in the view of some people’s minds when my mother was 17 years old and pregnant with me. But God had a plan.
God has a plan for your children too, you are not a parent by accident as far as God is concerned. So now is the time to “be a parent on purpose”. We have a duty as parents to raise our children right, discipline them firmly and in love, and teach them the things of God.
Here is what scripture says about parents preparing the young generation:

Psalm 78:1-8
O my people, listen to my teaching. Open your ears to what I am saying, for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past-stories we have heard and know, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children but will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord. We will tell of his power and the mighty miracles he did. For he issued his decree to Jacob; he gave his law to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, so the next generation might know them-even the children not yet born that they in turn might teach their children. So each generation can set its hope anew on God, remembering his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. Then they will not be like their ancestors; stubborn, rebellious, and unfaithful, refusing to give their hearts to God.

The calling of a parent is one of great responsibility. That is why God puts people in our lives to help us in our journey. I do not claim to have all the answers in parenting or discipline or in raising a child exactly they way that God would want us to. But I know that God has called me to be a father to my children and He has called me to help other parents along the way. That is what the body of Christ is all about; unity, working together, and helping each other to be better. We pray for each other, we communicate questions that we have about our kids, and we go together to the Word for Godly wisdom. I search the scriptures for wisdom to help parents be the kind of wise parents that they desire to be, because God has given them that desire. I want to help you in this journey of parenting and would love to be your friend when you need a friend who understands the trials of parenting. I love you all and appreciate you so much for allowing me to pour my heart into working with your kids. I want to pour into you too. God is awesome and He is raising a “new generation” to take the Gospel to the world. But it has to start at home, right now, with parents and kids. Call me if you would like to build a relationship that will be a blessing to both of us and to the “next generation” body of Christ. I love you all!

“Discipline: Hard Love is Real Love”

2009-09-04T12:31:00.000-04:00

I believe with all my heart that discipline is one the hardest issues to face as a parent. We live in a world where there are so many “experts” who truly believe that we should allow our kids to shape their own character. They think if parents are too hard on their children it may keep them from becoming who they want to be.
Discipline has been given a bad name because of people who were abusive to their children. We now live in a society full of people who are afraid to raise their children. The result is that children are not given any real guidance or structure, children not only need these things, they want them. As parents we must first understand that we have been given a responsibility from God to raise our children His way. We have to understand that we all have a ministry, not just pastors, evangelists, teachers, prophets, and missionaries. There is another title out there that is overlooked and misunderstood; the title of parent.
A parent has a great ministry. This is the first ministry of every person who is called “mommy” or “daddy”. The Bible is full of teaching that will strengthen us all as “Ministers to our Children”. I have found several passages in God’s Word that are very clear instructions on parenting, from these verses I would like to give you some simple “Tips in Discipline” that I believe will be life changing truth in how you relate to your kids. Please understand that these truths challenged me too as I studied and prepared this segment!

1. Discipline your kids out of love.
We have to understand that “Biblical discipline” is an act of love. Not frustration, or anger, or any other uncontrolled emotion. The Bible says in Ephesians 6 to “…be angry and sin not”! Never let discipline come out of anger! Whatever the method you use is, wait until you are able to “take action” out of love! Those uncontrolled emotions are the root of what gave discipline a bad reputation and caused parents to be afraid to give spankings or be firm enough to let a child cry in a “time-out” session. Just choosing not to discipline at all is just another form of abuse, it is neglect! The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24 “A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them.” (The Message)

2. Consistency is the key.
We must learn to be consistent in discipline. If you tell “little Johnny” that there will be no television tonight because he did not listen to mommy, but then you “change your mind” you are sending the wrong message. Never send a message that disobedience is acceptable. Sin came into the world riding on the coat-tails of an act of disobedience to God. Our Heavenly Father loves us in a much greater way than we are even able to love our children, and He was and is always consistent. God told Adam & Eve “You must not eat it (the forbidden fruit) or even touch it; if you do, you will die”. They did die. They were separated from God and now needed something to pay for their sins, Jesus had to come and die to reunite them with the God who loved them enough to do as He said He would. The Bible says, “let your yes be yes, and your no be no.” This sends a message to your children that you mean what you say, whether it is a threat of discipline or a promise to Disney World, always mean what you say and follow through.

3. Keep your kids on the right path.
Discipline is an act of love that keeps our children on the right path. They need to know when their actions are wrong by some kind of correction. On the other hand, children who are always corrected or punished but never encouraged will most of the time become frustrated and begin to think they are unable to please their parents. Something that Pastor Scott has said on this subject is to give your children twice as many hugs & kisses as you give spankings. You cannot do one and not the other; you cannot only be a “drill sergeant” who always corrects, nor can you be a “best friend” who believes that their children can do no wrong. The key is to be loving in correction with the purpose of keeping your kids on the right path. Proverbs 22:15 says “A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.” NLT (Also see Proverbs 19:18; 23:13-14; 3:11-12)

4. Set your kids up for Success
As hard as it seems at times to be the firm disciplinarian, sometimes labeled by the other parent as the “Bad Guy”, this is the parent who will be setting up their children for success! The Bible says “To discipline a child produces wisdom…” (Proverbs 29:15) Discipline is preparing our kids for real life! The other half of that verse tells us what will happen without discipline. “…but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.” Have you ever been around an “unruly child” in a public place? My heart is always broken for the child, because they will grow up this way with no direction and it is not their fault. They are being set up for failure. God wants His children to succeed in life and He disciplines, chastises, corrects, and loves us onto the road of prosperity and always sets us up for success in His Kingdom.

5. Have a healthy & happy family.
Proverbs 29:17 says “Discipline your children and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.” The duty of the “Parent” is no easy task. Sometimes we can know that we’ve done everything right and still our children don’t seem to get it. But God has a “blueprint” for us to follow in parenting and He is true to His Word. I believe that we all want to be the best parents we can be and we certainly desire peace in our homes. As we grow and learn in this great task together, I hope that we can continue to encourage each other, pray for each other, and glorify God in all that we do.

Transformation: Praying For Our Kids

2009-08-07T18:07:00.000-04:00

Have you ever struggled in prayer for your own kids? I have, and somehow I know that I am not the only parent who has had a desire to pray for my children in a way that would be fervent prayers availing much as James speaks of in the book of the Bible that carries his name. The Bible says that if a righteous man prays this way that those prayers availeth much (James 5:16). In the NLT this passage reads this way: The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. That is what I desired in my prayers for my children but I found myself wondering after I put them to bed and prayed for them, “was that earnest enough?”
As in many areas of my life, God has transformed the way I pray for my children and for the children of this amazing Church and the community. God showed me something that has taken this aspect of my ministry as a Father of my children to a whole new level and today I want to share it with you.
God showed me His Word through a book that I ordered that was written by children’s pastor. In this book the author explains that praying scripture over our children is fervent, earnest, has great power, and will availeth much! Let me show you…

Read the scripture first and then pray with your focus of your prayers on your kids…

Psalm 1:1
“Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.”

Pray that your children would not listen to worldly, ungodly advice but that they would listen to wise advice from their parents, pastors, Church leaders, and other godly people in their lives.

Pray that your children will not connect themselves with sinful friends that will be a negative influence in their lives but that they would have good Christian friends and they would influence others in their walk with the Lord.

Pray that your children would not associate with people who would mock faith in Christ but that they would live a life of being totally unashamed of the Gospel and be a bright light in a dark world.

Psalm 1:2
“But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.”

Pray that your children will fall in love with God’s Word. Pray that they will read it, study it, memorize it, and most importantly live the Word. Pray that they will be doers of the Word.

Psalm 1:3
“And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

Pray that your children will always stay close to God because He is the source of their strength and every good thing comes from the Lord.

Pray that they would follow the Lord’s leading all of their life, that God would bless their work and everything they do would be for His glory!

Psalm 1:4
“The ungodly [are] not so: but [are] like the chaff which the wind driveth away.”

Pray that your children will be firmly rooted in the Word and in the things of God, in their Faith, Love, and Purity and that they would not be swayed by the worldliness around them.

Psalm 1:5
“Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.”

Pray that your children shall stand with those who have loved God with all of their hearts and spent their days on this earth serving Him as a true act of devoted worship.

Psalm 1:6
“For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.”

Pray that the Lord would watch over your children in all that they do. Pray that God would guide them by His Spirit and teach them with His truth. Pray that God will give them His armor and protect them from every attack of the enemy and that He would pull them through the storms of life and make them stronger and wiser.

God has used His Word to transform my prayer life for my children and yours. I know that these prayers are powerful and no longer do I wonder if my prayer was earnest. God wants to transform how we pray for our children, this was just one short chapter in the Bible. There are 66 books in the Word full of promises and truths to be prayed and spoken over this generation… God Bless You, I love you all.